'Dumb' American criminals attempt robbery with ‘permanent marker pen disguises’

Two hapless robbers in America, Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller, have been arrested with the “worst disguises ever” after trying to hide their faces with permanent marker pen.

By Andrew HoughPublished: 9:25AM GMT 30 Oct 2009

Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller were caught in Iowa with permanent marker pen scrawled over their faces. Photo: AP
McNelly, 23, and Miller, 20 were arrested by armed police in Carroll, Iowa, last Friday after witnesses reported seeing two men trying to break into an apartment with fake beards and "masks" scrawled on their faces.
Police responding to a call about the attempted burglary later pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects' vehicle.
When they stopped their 1994 Buick Roadmaster, bewildered police discovered the drunk hapless pair – nicknamed “dumb and dumber” – complete with makeshift disguises.
Police issued-mugshots of the pair show the black ink scribbles on their faces, in what some commentators described as “the worst disguise ever”.
"We're very skilled investigators and the black faces gave them right away,” local police chief Jeff Cayler told CNN.
"I have to assume the officers were kind of laughing at the time.
“I've never heard of colouring your face with a permanent marker."
He added: "They probably were just not thinking straight and figured we'll go out and scare the guy or whatever.
“[They were] being dumb and combine that with alcohol and it was the perfect storm.
"I've been chief here almost 25 years, been with the department 28½ years and I've seen a lot of things that make me laugh and weird things but this was probably the best combination of the two - strangely weird and hilariously funny all at the same time.”
He had earlier told Radio Iowa: “It's a little weird.
"I've been here long enough that I've seen a lot of things, but this one's a little different compared to most ... I mean, just the face thing is what sets it apart."
The men may have been under the influence of alcohol when they devised the idea for their disguises.
"For what it's worth, it appeared they had both been drinking quite a bit and maybe weren't thinking quite rationally," Mr Cayler said.
McNelly and Miller were each later charged with attempted second-degree burglary and released on bail after appearing at Carroll County Magistrate Court on Monday.
McNelly was also charged with drunk driving.
Lawyers for the pair declined to comment.
The pair are due back in court next month.

Rubbish fine for bank

A BANK has been ordered to pay £3,645 in fines and court costs for leaving bags of waste at the rear of its Romford branch. The rubbish outside NatWest, in Exchange Street, included the personal bank details of a customer. Havering Council took action after enforcement officers found bags and boxes of documents on several occasions. Despite a number of written warnings and fixed penalty notices being issued, the offending continued. The bank pleaded guilty to an offence under section 34(6) of the Environmental Protection Act 1990. It also admitted breaching its duty of care with respect to refuse disposal on dates between October 22 and October 29, 2007. It also asked for similar offences on February 11, March 3 and June 30, 2008, to be taken into consideration. NatWest was fined £3,000 and was also ordered to pay costs. The magistrates said that the fine would have been £4,500 had the bank contested the action and been found guilty. The maximum fine for such an offence is £5,000. Bob Wenman, head of Streetcare at Havering Council, said: “It is extremely disappointing that we had to take such a well-known high street bank like NatWest to court, but they had several warnings so legal action appeared to be the only way to solve this problem. “We are working hard to make Havering better with safer, cleaner and greener streets and will take individuals and companies - no matter how big - to court if necessary.”

Breakdancing council expert in £75,000 benefits con

Breakdancing council expert in £75,000 benefits con
Dan Thompson
October 30, 2009
A COUNCIL benefits adviser used his expert knowledge to plunder £75,000 of taxpayers' money - but was caught out when spotted break dancing at a town hall event.Laqad Yacoob, 40, who worked for Manchester council, fraudulently claimed income support, disability living allowance and carer's allowance for him and his family over five years, a court heard.A government investigation in 2007 discovered he was driving a new BMW and VW Golf through the Motability scheme.He was caught after a colleague raised concerns as part of a whistle-blowing policy.Yacoob pleaded guilty to 11 counts of making false representations to obtain benefits and was jailed for 14 months at Manchester Crown Court.
Plundered Judge Iain Hamilton said: "You have systematically, cynically and dishonestly plundered the state benefits system for the benefit of yourself and your family. That seems to me to be wholly and totally unacceptable. You lived to a standard well above many other families, both in employment and those who have to rely on benefits."Yacoob, of King's Road, Stretford, worked for the council for four years before resigning in October 2008 when the offences came to light. His previous jobs included a voluntary post at the Citizens Advice Bureau and as a financial assessment officer at Trafford social services. These roles gave him expert knowledge of the benefits system, the court was told.He claimed disability allowance for himself, saying he suffered panic attacks and severe spinal pain that caused him to fall over.
Dancing But, the court was told, he never showed difficulties walking at work and colleagues saw him dancing and spinning on the floor during a staff party in September 2007.Natalia Cornwall, prosecuting, said claims involving his family were `grossly exaggerated'.
"You have systematically, cynically and dishonestly plundered the state benefits system"Judge Iain HamiltonDepartment of Work and Pensions investigators found Yacoob was claiming more than £500 a week in benefits.Iain Johnstone, defending, said some of the claims were originally legitimate, such as the disability living allowance for son Jameel and daughter Zahida.But he failed to inform the DWP when their health improved.
Wept Yacoob's wife Shaida wept in court as he was sent to prison.His niece Shabana Khan told the M.E.N: "Because of his job they have tried to make him a scapegoat. Lots of other people have committed more serious frauds and have not been given such a long sentence. They want to make an example of him."Yacoob's job involved offering advice on a wide range of benefits, including claims for housing and council tax.Manchester council does not deal with the benefits he was found to be fraudulently claiming. Council spokesman Bernard Priest said: "I am pleased justice has been done."

Tea-leaf jailed for biscuit theft

Published Date: 23 September 2009
A biscuit thief has been jailed for a year for stealing tea and snacks from hotel rooms.
David Richardson pleaded guilty to entering The Ambassador Hotel, The Red Lea Hotel and Brooklands Hotel, all in Scarborough, North Yorks, before taking the refreshments, and confronting holidaymakers, which left one woman "frightened to death".A shocked female hotel guest returned to her room to find Richardson had let himself in, helped himself to the hospitality tray and was drinking a cup of tea while watching TV. The 39-year-old, of no fixed abode, was given the maximum sentence available to Scarborough magistrates who handed him two six-month sentences to run consecutively.Richardson argued with the court clerk over two of the charges, and asked for three similar offences at hotels in York and Harrogate to be taken into account, the court heard

British man gets ASBO for playing Status Quo songs all day

16/09/2009 - 21:04:23
His music had his neighbours 'Rockin’ All Over The World' – but now British man Paul Lloyd is risking going 'Down Down'.Blasting out Status Quo rock songs at all hours of the day, Lloyd was proving to be a menace to his neighbours.But he has now been silenced after he was hit with a two-year anti-social behaviour order (ASBO) preventing him from playing loud music.Lloyd has also had thousands of pounds worth of equipment, including six televisions, four DVD players, hi-fis and set-top boxes seized from him.The 34-year-old, of Hampstead Road, Benwell, Newcastle, England was prosecuted after ignoring a string of Newcastle City Council notices ordering him to keep quiet.Noise team officers received complaints from people living near him who had been kept awake all night by the thud of the bass beat from his stereo equipment, including hits by Status Quo, whose songs include 'Rockin’ All Over the World', 'Down Down' and 'Whatever You Want'.Lloyd pleaded guilty to four charges of failing to comply with Noise Abatement Notices and Newcastle magistrates gave him a two-year ASBO which prevents him making any noise that can be heard outside his flat between 11pm and 7am.He has also been banned from causing alarm, harassment or distress to his neighbours.If he breaches the terms of the order, Lloyd could be fined or jailed for up to five years.Stephen Savage, the city council’s director of public protection said: “We will not tolerate any sort of behaviour which has a negative effect on other people’s quality of life.“This ASBO shows we’ll take appropriate action if necessary.”Councillor Anita Lower, executive member for community safety and regulation said: “I urge Newcastle residents to report any instances of anti-social behaviour via the Neighbourhood Helpline 0300 1000 101.“The ASBO that Mr Lloyd received sends a clear warning out to those who choose not to consider their neighbours’ quality of life.”Lloyd was also told to pay £100 (€112.07) prosecution costs, while the court also ordered the forfeiture of his electronic equipment. Read more: http://www.breakingnews.ie/world/british-man-gets-asbo-for-playing-status-quo-songs-all-day-426662.html#ixzz0VMSzrXEy

Porsche-driving benefits cheat claimed £23,000

Published Date: 20 October 2009
A PORSCHE-DRIVING South Yorkshire benefits cheat woke up behind bars this morning after being caught fraudulently claiming £23,000 from the tax payer.
Paul Russell, aged 38, claimed incapacity benefit for six years from 2001, claiming he could not work because of his bad back. He also drew council tax and housing benefits.Prosecutor Michael Rawlinson told Sheffield Crown Court that the first time inspectors visited Russell he insisted on being interviewed in bed, claiming he was in so much pain he could not get up.But Russell was actually running a building firm making between £44,000 and £59,000 a year.The court heard that he had savings of more than £3,000 when he started claiming in 2001, already making him ineligible for full incapacity benefit.By 2003 he had enough money to buy his council house in Lindsay Avenue, in Parson Cross, Sheffield, for £18,500, and in 2006 secured a mortgage to buy a second house in Hungerhill Road, Kimberworth, Rotherham for £135,000.He also managed to buy a £28,000 Porsche in 2005.In 2007 Russell remortgaged his Parson Cross house for £73,500, in order to pay off the mortgage on his Kimberworth property. Russell now rents out the Sheffield house for £380 a month.Andrew Smith, defending, said Russell had started off by making a genuine claim for incapacity, and had an operation for a prolapsed disc.Jailing Russell, who pleaded guilty to fraudulently claiming benefits, Judge Alan Goldsack QC said: "You decided to milk the system as well as earning relatively high sums of money. For many years you were blatantly dishonest with your fellow citizens' hard earned cash."Russell showed no reaction as Judge Goldsack sentenced him to 14 months in jail.The judge also set confiscation proceedings for January 2010.After the hearing Vernon Sanderson of the Department for Work and Pensions said: "When people commit benefit theft they don't get away with it. They face imprisonment, fines and other penalties."

Not his lucky day

Lee Terrance Prosser, 37, of St Matthews Green, Bridgwater, touched a woman sexually without her consent, sent to prison for 22 weeks; stole £47 cash, a hairbrush, a packet of cigarettes, deodorant, plastic cigarette and packet of tobacco, sent to prison for 16 weeks

Benefit cheat caught out on Friends Reunited

A BENEFIT cheat who claimed to be single was caught out after posting her wedding plans on a social networking site. Kelly Westgate, 28, of Beeton Close, Melbourn was overpaid £3,243.24 in housing and council tax benefit after failing to tell South Cambridgeshire District Council (SCDC) that she had married and was living with her husband.But canny SCDC investigators discovered details of Miss Westgate’s relationship and wedding plans on the Friends Reunited website. She later admitted her failure to report a change in circumstances to SCDC at a hearing at Cambridge Magistrate’s Court on October 22.In mitigation, the court was told that Miss Westgate had recently separated from her husband and was now unemployed.She was sentenced to a six-week curfew order requiring her to wear an electronic tag and stay in her home from 8.30pm to 7am each day. The overpaid benefit is also being recovered.
She has since taken down her profile from the site.

Silly smuggling attempts

Silly smuggling attempts: Mirror.co.uk Top 10


By Oliver Shah, Mirror.co.uk 27/10/2009

A plucky smuggler got Australian customs officials in a flap when he allegedly tried to sneak two pigeons into the country cunningly strapped to his legs.
However, he's not alone when it comes to smuggling strange things in and out of countries or concealing them in the weirdest ways.
Heres Mirror.co.uks round-up of the silliest ever smuggling attempts, from the bizarre to the downright dangerous.

1. Police at Melbourne Airport knew there was something fishy going on when they heard splashing noises coming from a passengers waist. Sure enough, under her skirt was $30,000 worth of exotic fish stashed in plastic bags of water.

2. In October 2008 police pulled over a 56-year-old woman in Sydney Airport and discovered three live banana plants hidden in her underwear. The plants can carry diseases that ruin other crops so the offender was threatened with a $60,000 fine.

3. Swallowing cocaine capsules is a well-known trick to get around airport security, but drugs mule Kingsley Ifeka decided to go further than most by necking a record 129 packets. Police at Edinburgh Airport said the haul had a street value of s330,000. We can only imagine how long he spent on the toilet.

4. Sandals have long been outlawed by the fashion brigade, so one holidaymaker clearly thought he had nothing to lose by taping bags of heroin to his soles. Customs cops had other ideas.
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5. What a terrible dandruff problem. Police made a hair-raising discovery when they lifted this mans wig to find bags of cocaine strapped to his head, a trick known to be popular in Norway and Britain. Nice toup› though.

6. The yolk was on holidaymaker Terrence Quinnell after Australian customs officers busted him hiding parrots eggs in a purpose-made vest. The 52 eggs could have made one hell of an omelette but unfortunately they landed Quinnell three years in jail.

7. Is that a lizard in your suitcase, or are you just pleased to see me? Customs officials got a shock when an X-ray showed more than 30 reptiles slithering between a passengers deodorant cans and beach shorts on a flight to Bangkok. The haul included three black headed pythons.

8. Lovers of Toy Story should look away now. Behind the wide-eyed grin of this Mr Potato Head was 300 grams of ecstasy tablets more than even Buzz Lightyear could handle on a night out. Customs offiicials who picked up the toy on a flight from Ireland described the ruse as outlandish.

9. This skater was packing more than just attitude in his street gear. Australian police found packets of cocaine sealed between the decks of two skateboards. The maximum penalty is 25 years in prison perhaps by then the culprit might have graduated to BMX.

10. A rather well endowed man caught the attention of customs officials for all the wrong reasons. A quick frisk revealed the enterprising 23-year-old South African had concealed more than a kilogram of cocaine in his pants. An unappetising prospect for drug abusers everywhere.

Illegal immigrant caught because of passport spelling mistake

An illegal immigrant who applied for a job at Nottinghamshire CPS as a cleaner was caught because of a spelling mistake in the words United Kingdom.
Hyacinth Brooks had paid £3,000 for a fake stamp on her genuine Jamaican passport to prove she had indefinite leave to work here. But after she applied for the cleaning post, her passport revealed an obvious error on the stamp – “Kingdom” was spelt “Kingdon”. Ooops!
Brooks, 57, of Hopedale Close, Radford, never got the job.
She ended up in the cells for possession of a false identification document with intent and entered a guilty plea when she appeared at Nottingham Crown Court. Judge Dudley Bennett gave her a six-month prison sentence, suspended for 12 months, with 12 months supervision from probation officers. The Home Office will now decide her future here. What is there to decide, deport this fraudster.
Brooks arrived in the UK from Jamaica on a six-month visitor’s visa, which expired in 2000. No further application was made to stay in this country. The defendant had travelled here to care for her mother, who died in 2005, the court heard.

Guardian loses half a million CVs

Police probe massive hack
By John Oates • Get more from this author
Posted in Crime, 26th October 2009 09:17 GMT
Free whitepaper – Removing the complexity from information protection
The Guardian newspaper's jobs website has warned 500,000 users that hackers may have got hold of private information held on the site after a "sophisticated and deliberate" attack.
The paper said not all users were at risk, and it has emailed those who are. The email, sent on Saturday, said data relating to job applications "may have been accessed". It said the incident was now being investigated by the central e-crime unit at New Scotland Yard.
RegAd('mpu1', 'reg.security.4159/crime', 'pos=top;sz=336x280', VCs);
The mail advised people to:
1) Contact your creditors, even if they have not been affected, so that they can monitor your accounts to ensure they remain protected.
2) Contact a credit reference agency: Callcredit, Equifax or Experian provide suggested steps to resolve the situation and prevent it happening again.
3) Contact CIFAS protective registration: If you think you have been a victim of identity theft you should consider subscribing to CIFAS. This places a notice on your credit file indicating that your name and address may be used to perpetrate identity fraud.
It also provided links to various websites for further advice on identity fraud.
The paper said it had been assured by its provider, Madgex, that the site was now secure and that it had contacted, or tried to contact, everyone at risk.
The US version of the site was not affected. The paper declined to give any technical details of the attack until the police investigation was over.
Although no financial information is believed to have been lost, even a standard CV and covering letter can provide a decent start for identity theft.
Hackers have previously gone after recruitment sites like Monster.com to harvest data for ID fraud or for "spear phishing attacks" - personalised email scams

Wanted man gets a job in U.S. prison

Wanted man gets a job in U.S. prison - despite easy Google search linking his name to Interpol fugitives list

A man wanted on suspicion of drug and fraud crimes has been arrested – in an American maximum security prison where he was working as a guard.
A simple Google search of Michal Preclik’s name brings up an Interpol wanted poster from his native Czech Republic.
But the 32-year-old’s employers at a Nebraska prison apparently made no such checks when they hired him, and he was able to work there for a year before the error was realised.

Wanted: A simple Google search links Michal Preclik's name to Interpol's list of fugitives
Prison officers at Tecumseh State Correctional Institution only learned of his past when they promoted him to corporal.
'This is just unbelievable that the state of Nebraska is hiring international criminals,' said state Senator Heath Mello. 'Who's minding the store?'
The Department of Correctional Services is reviewing its hiring practices, spokeswoman Dawn Renee Smith said.
'Obviously, it's a concern whenever we have anyone working at the facility ... who has any type of outstanding warrants,' Smith said.
The situation is reminiscent of a 2005 incident that led to a Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services policy that Google searches of job candidates be conducted.
The department offered a job to Wayne Richard McGuire, but rescinded the offer after it was reported that he had been convicted in absentia in Rwanda of the 1985 murder of Dian Fossey, whose research was the subject of the movie 'Gorillas in the Mist.'
Preclik arrived in Nebraska in 2002 when he got a job at a hog farm through a company that recruited Eastern Europeans as laborers in violation of their tourist visas. The hog farm is about 30 miles from the Tecumseh prison.
Preclik later testified against Milan Matousek, who was convicted of transporting and harboring illegal immigrants while helping the company. Preclik was granted legal residency in return for his help in the prosecution, said his wife, Kari Preclik, an American he married in 2005.
She said the drug and fraud accusations stem from another prosecution he assisted with in the Czech Republic. He had become linked with organised crime while buying and selling cars and was kidnapped, she said. While testifying in that case, he was accused of giving members of the group drugs, she said.
But she had no idea about the outstanding warrant.
'We did not find out he was wanted until he was picked up,' Mrs Preclik said.
Interpol, which fosters police cooperation across the borders of 188 countries, and the US Marshals service didn't release any information about the accusations against Michal Preclik.
'I was shocked when I found out,' said Patrick Barker, an officer at the prison who worked with Preclik. 'Here we have a guy facing drug and fraud charges and we're dealing with contraband issues at the prison.'
Smith said she wasn't aware of any internal investigations because of Preclik's situation.
The Corrections Department did a background check on Preclik before hiring him, like it does on all potential hires, she said. But a national database that includes criminal records and warrants, the National Criminal Information Center, did not reveal any warrants for his arrest, Smith said.
An initial check of NCIC, which is overseen by the FBI, was done on September 7, 2008, a day before the international police group listed Preclik as wanted on its website, according to Smith.
However, a second background check was done October 21, 2008, a week after Preclik started working at the prison and more than a month after Interpol listed him as wanted.
'No warrant showed up at that time either,' Smith said.
There is often a lag between the time Interpol lists someone as wanted and when an arrest warrant is issued in the country where the person is residing.
Preclik was arrested by Immigration and Customs Enforcement on September 8 and has a November 9 hearing to determine if he can be released on bond. He has asked that the decision to send him back to the Czech Republic be reviewed.
Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokesman Tim Counts declined to speak about Preclik's former or current immigration status other than to say he has been charged with violating US immigration laws.Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1221935/Wanted-man-gets-job-U-S-prison--despite-easy-Google-search-linking-Interpol-fugitives-list.html#ixzz0UaXuaLO8

Suspect’s birthmark air brushed out for identity parade

The boss of a Notts greyhound sanctuary which was burgled in August has criticised law makers after a suspect’s birthmark was removed from his photograph for an identity parade.
On August 25, £300 in charity donations was stolen from the Crossing Cottage Greyhound Sanctuary, in Sutton-on-Trent, near Newark.
Employee Tracy Ryan spotted a suspect emerging from the sanctuary and noticed the man had a “port-wine stain on his face”. Notts Police set up an identity parade and refused to take the man’s distinctive birthmark into account.
Witnesses must be shown a minimum of 12 photographs before they are allowed to identify a suspect but the characteristic gave too few photographs to compare. Sanctuary boss John Morton said: “The police are saying they can’t infringe human rights. But what about our human rights?”
Police have arrested one man and released him on bail and Mrs Ryan is due to attend a second identification parade including the suspect.

Sham marriage couple couldn’t speak same language.

Border agency staff broke up the wedding service at Manchester register office – claiming that the Portuguese bride and Pakistani groom could not even speak the same language.
The raid took place just minutes before the service was due to start at the Lloyd Street office. It is understood an interpreter was to be used during the ceremony because the couple could not speak each other’s native languages and only the groom spoke English.
Five witnesses were at the register office when police and border agency staff made the arrest. The 24-year-old bride, who wore a lilac dress and plastic tiara, is reported to have reacted indifferently as her groom was led away.
An agency source said: “She just shrugged her shoulders and didn’t really seem too bothered. “She didn’t speak English or Urdu. “He didn’t speak Portuguese but could speak English. How this courtship was supposed to have taken place is anybody’s guess.”
The 29-year-old man, who is understood to have an expired temporary visa, was being questioned and faces being deported. The couple both gave Manchester addresses

Speeding

Three members of the Women's Institute in Herstmonceux, East Sussex successfully campaigned for a speed camera. In the following weeks, all three ladies were snapped and fined £60.

Mugging gone wrong

Mugging people in one of the UK's most popular jogging locations is asking for trouble. Experienced marathon runner Glyn Roberts came to the aid of a victim on Hampstead Heath in north London and gave chase - for two miles. The bewildered mugger eventually fell to his knees and begged for mercy. He didn't get it.

Norfolk, England

A man walked into the local post office and demanded money from the clerk who was also his next door neighbour. When the woman refused he pulled out a cucumber and threatened her. He was arrested the same day.

Stupid Teenager

A "STUPID" teenager hurt his knee in a fight – and then tried to con £617,000 from Leeds Council by claiming he tripped over a paving stone. Ryan Kirk, 24, claimed he dislocated his knee after smashing it against a BT junction box on May 9, 2002. But despite telling a 999 operator and doctors at hospital that he had kicked the box in frustration and never mentioned tripping up, he still went through with his charade. Investigators for the council eventually discovered the gaping hole in his story and found he had caused the injury himself after kicking the box following a fight.

Boy Racers revenge

A BOARD devoted to boy racers has done a sterling job outing a woman who tried to con one of its number out of cash for a Wii. One of the regulars of the Scoobynet.com board paid £180+£30 for a Wii from eBay and when it didn't turn up he contacted the seller, Miss Hightee H. Butzlaff. She told him that he could call the cops if he wanted too, but she didn't live in the UK so ner. While many people would have thought that Hightee H. Butzlaff was a joke name, the buyer had managed to get some of her personal details including her phone number, and address. He handed over the details to the group who promply had a field day with it. The denizens of Scoobynet did as much searching as they could on the woman. They found pictures of her in her underwear, hobbies, religion.Apparently, Hightee started to feel a bit less cocky and offered to remove the pictures if she refunded the money. But it is starting to look like the horse has well and truly bolted and the boy racers cannot be stopped.

Midland Bank

A fraudster was caught out after he tried to cash a cheque for a bank which folded nine years ago. Jonathan Hambly wandered into his local branch of Cashmakers to cash a £400 Midland Bank cheque - even though the bank closed in 1999 and was taken over by HSBC. The 25-year-old claimed that the dud - adorned with the bank's famous Golden Griffin motif - was a deposit refunded to him by his former landlord.
But the cashier told him: "Midland Bank doesn't exist."

Lie Detector

Lie DetectorPolice were having a little difficulty getting a confession from one fraudster. Because this was a small town and a smaller police force, they didn't have the budget for lie detection equipment, so they improvised. They found a metal colander in the kitchen and attaching two wires to it, they placed it on his head taping the wires to a nearby copy machine. Each time the suspect answered the question incorrectly, one of the investigators would push a button remotely and the copier would spit out a piece of paper with two words on it, "He's Lying." Frustrated by this new fangled piece of technology, the suspect confessed.

DEAD GIVEAWAY

An unidentified man from Johannesburg, South Africa, told three friends he hadn’t been feeling well for quite some time and believed he was eligible for a monthly disability check. The man must have been worse off than he thought—he died a short time later. But his friends didn’t tell anyone. Instead, hoping to collect the monthly check for themselves, the threesome dragged the man’s lifeless body to the welfare office and propped him up for a required fingerprinting, telling the clerk he had just passed out. But the corpse’s cold, stiff hand was a dead giveaway. The clerk called the cops.

HACKING INTO JAIL

HACKING INTO JAIL Lars H. of Copenhagen, Denmark, had a highly illegal hobby: hacking into computers to obtain bank account and credit card information. But Lars’s pastime came to a sudden halt when he tapped into the data of one individual—Arne Lindstrom, head of the Copenhagen police department’s computer crime unit.

A TICKET TO JAIL

Looking for a bit of extra cash to pay for a computer and printer, Anthony G. of Madison, Wisconsin, hatched a plan: He’d print fake parking tickets and mail them to local citizens. Anthony even rented an extra-large post office box for the money that no doubt would be pouring in. But the only thing that poured in was the cops. How did they find him? Although the tickets looked real enough, all of them had the same identification number—which just happened to match the one on his own recent parking ticket.

EXTENDED STUPIDITY

EXTENDED STUPIDITY No one had seen Joseph G. of Philadelphia steal the credit card. And as he had carefully disguised himself, it was impossible for the clerk at the stereo store to identify the person who actually charged $2,700 for a premium sound system. How then were the police able to arrest him so quickly? It seems the hapless fraudster also had purchased extended warranties on the new gear—using his real name and address.

$1 million bill

ATTENTION, WAL-MART SHOPPERS! Alice P. went on a shopping spree at a Georgia Wal-Mart, filling several carts to the brim. When the cashier totaled up $1,672 in merchandise, Alice handed the worker a $1 million bill and asked for the remaining change in cash. Knowing the largest U.S. bill in circulation was $100, Wal-Mart called the police. “This is the first time in my law enforcement career that I’ve seen someone try to use a $1 million bill,” said local police chief Almond Turner, who promptly arrested Alice.